A journey of self discovery

Although I mainly talk about qigong……this blog is also about mindfulness…and mindfulness can lead to a lot learning about yourself. Learning about the thought patterns that can cause anxiety/depression. Learning how to stop those thoughts , then counter them by getting a more positive perspective. Learning that you CAN change your thoughts…but you are what you think….surely? Who are you if you start to have different thoughts?

Also . mindfulness is about observing your thoughts….well who is thinking and who is observing?

I have been on a long trip down memory lane recently…a trip that I was uncomfortable about, And I realised I didn’t really like who I was when I was growing up . I am sure I was not as bad as I remember. But the inevitable thought was that how could I be so different now? Am I really different ? 50 years on I know experience has made me very different….but I still found myself wondering why I was so different then? And I realised when I was growing up I was so busy trying to be a better version of my elder sister that I lost sight of the need to be the best possible version of me.

Coping with an arthriticy hip

About 5 weeks ago I got a sudden pain in my left hip which over the next few days continued to plague me at times. I knew several things. Keeping moving was key…as was making sure I was moving in the best way. So I self referred to physiotherapy . It was suggested it was osteoarthritis of the hip and she suggested some exercises. Yesterday I ‘popped’ up to HInckley to do a rehab class with my qigong trainer where she was very . much focussed on my body alignment and helping me stand correctly .

After a very tiring day yesterday I was concerned how I would feel today. Happily I am not too bad…I’ve managed my physio exercises OK. And I have done qigong very . much focussed on my body alignment starting with my feet…because thats where it ALL starts!

Using qigong to help keep myself mobile is one thing I am going to be doing. The other thing I am going to be doing is giving MUCH more focus to posture issues not only during qigong but all day whether I am sitting moving or standing.

Osteoarthritis of the hip can lead to increasing doses of pain relievers, with all the attendant side effects, decreased mobility, with all those risks, and in the end a hip replacement. I am determined to use my qigong to prevent that…and I believe that I can. Watch this space

Mental Health Awareness week

Mindfulness and qigong are a HUGE part of my own mental health routine. Having suffered with depression I know how important it is to be aware of thoughts that indicate my personal black dog is slipping off the leash. Over the past 11 years (I came off antidepressants on 1/1/2008) I have had times when I started to slip back. The difference is I now know how to cope without medication.

Being down, stressed, and anxious, are normal responses to events in life.. Suppressing those feelings can do more harm than good. One of my personal coping mechanisms is to withdraw while I ;process what I am feeling and why. This may seem counterintuitive …….all the advice is its good to talk. And we know that a tendency to ruminate on things is a strong indicator of your risk of mental health issues. But I am NOT ruminating…..just reflecting and I don’t always need or want input from anyone else.

Romans used to have gadens dedicated to Saturn (the God of depression) where people could go when they were depressed to experience the depression fully….as part of the process of getting through it.. When I find myself reluctant to be too sociable I recognise this as a sign I need to withdraw even thoi I don’t have a Saturn garden!

One of the most important things mindfulness can . help with is learning about how . YOUR mind works and how you can keep yourself mentally as healthy as possible. Its your mind…you are the expert on how you can keep it healthy. Mindfulness can be a huge help in learning what works for you.

Qigong with a hip problem

I have a painful hip. I have no idea why, but it makes any weight bearing uncomfortable….and sometimes definitely painful! But I know the key to joint pain is to keep moving…’Motion is the best lotion’ So although I took the option to demonstrate seated adaptations of qigong movements in my weekly video…I know I still need to do personal practice standing up as much as possible. Being honest for 24 hours I didn’t do any…I felt I needed to rest the hip a bit. But yesterday I got moving again. I did 30 minutes wii fit step aerobics……..very slowly and with lots of ouches.

Today I have just done some gardening and done a full standing shibashi set in the garden. Mindfully moving my body pinpointed a few things…I needed to reduce the step width in dragon stance. And I had some ouchy moments with any turning from the waist…..which means I am NOT turning from the waist…..<sigh>

But I did the full set and although my hip knows I’ve done it….I feel good. I have no idea where this hip issue is going….but I do know I can do things that hopefully mean it never becomes so bad I need medical intervention. Watch this space!

Qigong in the sunshine

For the first time in some time I have been outside to do my shibashi set. There is nothing quite like qigong in the fresh air especially from a mindfulness perspective. Because there is so much to be mindful of if breath and body are not top of your agenda. The sun on my face. the breeze blowing round me, bird song, cats playing, the feel of the decking (alas not grass unless I decide to scare the neighbours and go into the front garden!) beneath my feet. And I manage to plant some herbs I will be able to add smells to the list.

Being outside in the fresh air is good for so many reasons. It is very good for mental well being especially if there are plants in the area, If it sunny it helps keep your vitamin D levels up. The sunlight also helps stimulate production of chemicals in your brain to help you feel good (just as UV lamps help with SAD)

Also outside you can be away from screens (your phone has a off button!) and the visual reminders of work that needs doing round the house.. OK so you may see some weeding that needs doing…but when you touch greenery you release essential oils that be hugely beneficial even if you cannot actually smell them..

So even if standing outside waving your arms about isn’t your thing….try to get out in the sunshine even if its cold. Have a great bank holiday. Namaste

Be aware

Be aware of what? I hear you say. Well ‘be aware’ and ‘notice’ are two things I say very frequently when I am leading a mindfulness meditation. Because really that is the core of mindfulness. Being aware of what is going on in you and around you right now….in this moment. How often do you really notice birds singing? The wind rustling in the trees? The sound of rain the window? The sounds of water lapping in a lake or on the sea shore. If you get the Calm app….and I do recommend it…these are some of the sounds they use. And its pretty obvious WHY noticing lovely sounds like that is encouraged.

But during qigong I encourage people to be aware of their bodies and breath…to be aware of any signals their body is sending them. ..usually accompanied by a reminder that if anything is causing discomfort don’t do it….adjust what you do. Well that makes sense….if you are doing something that is causing pain stopping doing it is a good idea.

But what if you have chronic constant pain? How can being aware of that help? Surely the best thing is to block that out? Sadly no. Another important part of mindfulness is acceptance of how things are. However much you might want things to be different, they are what they are. Railing against the pain can make it worse. A lot of pain is caused by anticipation of when the next pain will come..you are braced against it…when actually relaxing will help. Also however bad the pain is, you only have to deal with it ‘in this moment’ And very often being aware of pain can show you its not all one constant block of sensation. There are also visualisation techniques that can help you manage the pain…But thats means you need to be aware of what the pain is . How bad it is.

The same kind of thing works with mental pain…but that’s for another post.

The point of mindfulness techniques is not to relax you although that is very often a side effect. The point of mindfulness techniques is to help you practice so that when you really need it they are automatic. So you automatically breathe into the pain, to explore what you are REALLY feeling.

If all that sounds like mumbo jumbo…well you probably won’t read this blog any more. But if it resonated with you feel free to contact me to find out more

Just this breath...just this moment

Ignoring the undoubted physical benefits of qigong, which I don’t, the sessions I run are very much focussed on the mindful aspects. Co-ordinating breath and body means you need to be aware of the breath and which phase of the breath you are in. That is the core of mindfulness and I often use the words ‘just this breath coming in… just this breath going out’ during the mindfulness meditations .

I am a fan of all things sci fi but there is a special place in my heart for a certain alien who travels in a blue police box. Dr Who was the first sci fi I remember. One of its big attractions was not just the idea of space travel but also travelling backwards and forwards in time. And you may often hear people say (or indeed say yourself) ‘I wish I could travel back in time …I would do things differently’ Or ‘I wish I could travel forward in time and see how …….works out’

The irony is that we spend a lot of time in our minds travelling back …reliving a past event . We also spend a LOT of time travelling FORWARDS…wondering (worrying) how events will pan out. And our minds never stop.

This is when two important ideas from ancient philosophies combine into a powerful practice. The taoist idea of the power of the stillness, and the buddhist idea of the power of living in the moment. Neither are easy to put into practise. But practising them often makes it easier. And practicing means accepting you won’t always get it right and acceptance of how things are is another core part of mindfulness.

tThe bottom line is this breath and this moment are all you have. Make the most of it. Be in it. Accept it as it is good bad or indifferent. Because the next moment may be different…maybe better maybe the same maybe worse…but again its only one moment and one breath.

When sitting is harder than standing

Shibashi qigong (tr 18 movements to do energy work ) is about so much more than arm movements. In fact the movements your arms makes are in many ways the least important aspect. The shibashi moves are meant to be done standing in hip width stance, side to side stance, or forward and back stance.. But one promotion point is that the moves can be done seated.

We had an interesting discussion about words over the weekend….becasue we all use shorthand ‘seated qigong’ when what we SHOULD be saying is ‘qigong adapted for those who need to sit’ Because qigong is designed to be done standing , but can be adapted for those who cannot stand for long periods or need to sit.

NEED to sir….not want to sit becasue its easier but NEED to sit. Trust me …after a weekend improving my knowledge and understanding of qigong I can state unequivocally that doing the set seated is harder than doing it standing.. And you cannot get the full benefits. But you can still get some.

This weekend has deepened my understanding and knowledge of qigong generally.. So my personal journey continues. And my challenge is to use this knowledge to improve the journeys of those who attend my sessions. .

Everyone who uses qigong is on their own journey. We al use it for different reasons, we all use it for a different purpose.I use it to stay healthy in the broadest sense of the word. The concept that ‘seated qigong’ is actually more difficult than the standing fits well the simple mantra that codifies my approach to the getting older. Use it or lose it. In this case…..using my legs to help get the maximum benefits from my personal qigong practice. Namaste

Shibashi vs 6 step

I know, teach and use 2 different qigong sets. The shibashi (18 moves, plus the standing zen at the end ) and the 6 step (5 moves plus the standing zen) . What is the difference apart from the number of moves? Well the shibashi set is designed to give an energy ‘work out’ (as well as gentle physical workout) The 6 step is designed more as a detox….to cleanse the energy. But both start the same way. With some moments of preparation getting into good posture, tuning into to your breath, grounding yourself, and the simple arm raising move the is called ‘opening the gates’ or ‘raising the water’ . Both end with the standing zen. (standing in good posture, hands crossed in front of your lower abdomen ) In between well thats very different. But there is one other thing that is the same for both sets you get out of them what you put in. You can stand and wave your arms around ….and my teacher says that is still beneficial. Or you can focus on getting the best possible posture, really focus on your breath and feeling the energy flow, and make it a really mindful experience.

Thee is one potential difference I haven’t mentioned…the time it takes. Superficially the 6 step looks as if it will always be completed in a shorter time than the shibashi. But a lot depends on how you do the set. Done at a minimum level (6 repetitions of each move) the 6 step will of course be completed in a shorter time than the shibashi. Including the time for preparation… about 42 breaths for the 6 step versus about 120 breathes for the shibashi. But if you do the number of repetitions your body and energy tell you is needed that can take you up to 12 or more repletions of each step. suddenly 42 breaths becomes 96 or even more. for the 6 step.

Like i` said…you get out it what you are prepared to put in…

Standing qigong

Hang on….most qigong is done standing isn’t it? Well yes. But it is possible to do ‘qigong’ (energy work) when standing still. Not just ANY old position of course….but in a good bear stance…..or if you are more advanced dragon stance I suppose. But by standing in bear stance you are opening up the channels for the flow of qi, you are actively connecting to both yin (from the earth) and yang (from the sun) sources of energy by having the relevant acupressure points correctly aligned. And of course you are moving….because you are breathing. The terms ‘energy’ and ‘breath’ are closely linked in Ta chi. My mantra for my classes at the Cerebral Palsy centre is ‘If you can breath you can do it’ Breathing is about the one thing they can all do. Also in my sessions I often suggest that you imagine breathing energy along your arm, or out through your hand.. Your breath can direct the flow of energy. So breathing is an integral part of qigong.

Standing, and breathing without arm motions is the in many ways the core of qigong.

I felt drawn to standing qigong a few days ago…not something I normally do. And when I mentioned this to my mentor she said that standing qigong can be useful in winter…when we all feel like hibernating.. Energetically it felt the right thing to do. And a few days later I found myself naturally flowing into the 6 step routine…which felt good.

Up till now I haven’t focussed much on my posture or my breath. Or take this as a signal that I need to work on both.

Qigong, the I Ching, wu wei and Taoism

This morning I read an inspiring article in the magazine of the TCUGB. I wouldn’t normally start my day with some serious reading but all I can say is it felt right. And as a result of that I found various things running round in my head. Especially what the author said about the I Ching. She has done a thesis on how the 8 trigrams in I Ching are linked to the 8 powers of Taiji Chuan. As a result I found myself wondering if the I Ching could help me make a decision. And I realised what I needed to do was do my qigong practice in the best way, so my mind would be in the right state for me to throw the dice, and interpret what the hexagram said.

Just like the Tao Te Jing, (TTJ) the I Ching is built on the strange concept of’ wu wei’…..non-doing. The idea is that you allow yourself to become in harmony with the universe. When you do that you allow things to happen rather than actively doing things. It’s a difficult concept to explain, and even harder to achieve. It’s called ‘The Tao’ But in the first first of the TTJ it says….The Tao that can be named is not the real Tao’…or words to that effect. So words are not always helpful…but they are all I have so here goes.

I started my qigong practice. I decided I needed to really try a’feel’ the qi or at least to work as if I could feel the qi since this is something that does not come naturally to me. I really focussed on getting my breath and body in harmony, being mindfullly aware of what my body wanted to do and what my mind was doing. I just let it happen. I didn’t tick myself off when I realised my mind had wandered away with thoughts of this blog post. I just lead mt mind back.I didn’t tick myself off when I realised my posture had slipped. I just corrected it.I couldn’t tell you how long my practice took….maybe 30 minutes…..but however long it took it felt right. And I didn’t feel impatient as I sometimes can. Being honest at the start my intention was to use the 6 step…but as I ‘opened the gates’ I realised I would be doing the shibashi.

After the practice I sat down to throw the dice and interpret the heaxgram )(made up of 2 trigams) And I got some very clear and understandable guidance not only about the issue I focussed on but about other issues.

I tell those I teach that the important thing isn’t to come to a weekly class…but to build the concepts into your daily life. The daily practice means that in every day life you automatically respond to signals from your mind or body….and put the principles of qigong and mindfulness into action when you need them.

But it’s called practice because you need to learn how to do it. Does this mine every day my practice will be as good as it was today? No. Today was special. It was a ‘wow’ moment. But I have learned that ‘wow’ moments are built on all the moments in between when you feel frustrated because nothing makes sense, or works they way you think it should. In many ways the days when your practice goes badly are the most instructive ones. And in many ways the important ting is not what you do…but the fact you do anything at all.

Qigong and the physical body

I had an enlightening moment watching TV a few days ago. I was watching people in knife wielding contest. Their success (or lack) depends on the strength and sharpness of the blade, and how effectively they USE that blade. I was watching one competitor who had what the experts said was a great blade….but I realised she was making the best use of her blade. She was using her arms and shoulders…but not the power of her whole body. It was obvious from the way she was standing and moving.

And suddenly I really ‘knew’ the importance of the posture and the core abdominal muscles. When you stand correctly, with the core abdominal muscles engaged, you are able to tap into the maximum amount of power both physically and energetically.

Wielding a knife with jour your shoulders and arms, exercises (and puts strain on?) the shoulders and arms . When you get your whole body involved you have so much more power…..and less strain on the joints. Effectively you channel the power of your abdominal muscles into your arms. Ditto your legs to keep you standing securely (or kicking if you are into kick boxing !)

So the time spent getting into good posture and engaging your core muscles at the start of the qigong set is in many ways the most important part. Becasue qigong for all it looks as if your war just waving your arms around is so much more than that. I have always known that on one level. The enlightening moment meant that I ‘knew’ it on a deeper level with much greater understanding.

It also menat I suddenly understood how qigong can be just as good as zumba for your health!!!

That understanding is something I will bring into my personal practice and my classes in 2019.

Happy New Year!

Seated qigong

I have a broken toe. This means driving walking and standing are all limited. So I have had to do qigong seated . Tis has been a difficult experience. Somehow it doesn’t feel as if it benefits me as much. I feel I ‘should’ be standing and getting a good upper body posture feels much harder when I am seated. But as I was doing it just now one word came into my head…’trust’

When I first started reiki self healing it didn’t feel as if it was doing me much good. And when I started giving reiki I often had to trust that I was doing anything at all because I couldn’t feel the energy flowing. However experience with reiki taught me to trust that whatever I was doing, it was doing good..

I realise I have to do the same with qigong…..especially seated. And this has emphasised to me how much further I need to go in my understanding of qigong. Greater understanding of reiki gave me the confidence to use it better, and I started to become more aware of the energy I was channelling. So greater experience with seated qigong, and greater study of qigong will no doubt lead to something similar.

At the moment I am not at my best, taking medication (with reluctance) to help with the pain while not taking so much I get careless about what I am doing. I am of necessity staying still. And it occurred to me that this stillness is 'ALSO part of the healing. Helping my direct my energy where it is needed. Stillness is integral to qigong.

Also the stillness is stopping me doing so I am just being. Lao Tzu ‘wu wei’….doing by not doing. And opportunities have come my way for 2019 already.

Maybe I need to do MORE seated qigong if it helps me ‘be’ rather than ‘do’

A different aspect of mindfulness

I often mention that qigong is a very mindful practice because it helps to keep you focussed in the moment. Ad that is a very important aspect of mindfulness. But  an equally important aspect of mindfulness is being non judgmental. 

Being non judgemental means you don't beat yourself up about how things are, So much stress is caused by our own critical judgments on ourselves and our actions. Being mindful of that tendency, noticing when you are being judgmental and recognising that it is a very unhelpful trait  are key benefits of mindfulness.

Sometimes this means accepting that in this moment you have this pain, this level of energy, that this is all you can do. It means accepting your ,limitations . 'But surely that means you will never improve?' I here you say. Not so. If you have a clear goal (eg to improve your practice of qigong) being no judgmental on the days when you know your practice falls short of what you would wish is important. Becasue I often say it isn't about doing the moves perfectly...but doing them perfectly for you. Not judging yourself critically because you are not holding perfect stance, or not practicing it for as long as you would wish each....or even not practicing it each day because...you know life happens.

When you know what you SHOULD be doing (in  an ideal world, or  if you were monk on a mountain top in Tibet who did nothing except practice qigong 10 hours a day)  then that improves the benefit of what you physically CAN do,

I run sessions for wheelchair bound people who have very limited movement. I always tell them 'doing it in your imagination is fine ' They will NEVER be able to physically get the stances and moves perfect. But if they can breath and use their imagination they still get huge benefits.

I realised to day that applies to equally to me. I need to be non judgmental on the days when my stance isn't good, when I can't hold my core abdominal muscles engaged, when I run out of time or energy to do even minimal practice. That doesn't mean I can be complacent. I know what I WANT to be doing.. And I can assure you my practice has improved immeasurably since the first time I was introduced to shibashi. 

Accepting your limitations as long as you have a real desire to improve is mindfulness in action. 

 

 

 

So why do I practice qigong ?

As I did my practice today this was the thought that kept going through my mind. In part this was triggered by what I learned at a training class I attended with my trainer,. She emphasised something I already knew on one level but needed to be reminded of.  Our daily practice will change. Somedays its all about relaxation. Other days its about responding to what your body needs. And what your body needs will vary.

Based on my own practice I know some days I am stiff and need the qigong movements to loosen me up. Somedays my movements are naturally loose wide and flowing...others my joints feel in need of wd40 and ned coaxing to move at all.

I also know somedays its very easy fro me to get into and maintain a really good stance....while others I just need to wave my arms about as I breathe and nurse my body into doing anything

And some days its a case of body be hanged.....I just need to relax and chill.

I practice qigong because I know the more I practice the better I will get it .

I practice qigong because the gentle movements keep my joins from stiffening up

I practice qigong because its the best form of mindfulness for me on days when sitting or lying feels wrong so my mind wants to go off on wild journeys

I practice qigong becasue it gets me into the habit of listening to and responding to my body's needs

I practice qigong because I enjoy it and I know that by practising it every day I keep myself healthy on many levels. And I know it can improve me health on many levels

I also know by keeping my energy in as good a state as possible, I am doing what I can to keep the energy in my tiny part of the world balanced. And that can only be a good thing

Namaste

What I learn from my pupils

At the beginning of each class we bow in. We are honouring the energy, and everyone else in the class. They honour me as their teacher....ad I honour them for what they teach me.. And I learn a lot from my pupils.

Today was a good example. a question about one of the moves led to a discussion about how being mindful could help them do what felt right for THEM. Because I wanted to focus on them being mindful of their body, I lead a very physical set with little talking so they could be mindful. That gave ME a chance to be mindful...and I maintained better stance than normal....and boy did I get hot!!

By teaching, I learn and understand more about qigong....and my general practice improves. By teaching I learn more about how to teach.

Maybe its true that those who can do, those who can't teach.....but teaching has always been important to me...and I feel privileged to have some amazing and stimulating people attedning my classes.

Going with the flow

One of my husbands favourite sayings when we have no definite plans made is to suggest we just 'go with the flow and see how the cookie crumbles' its a great way to spend a day believe me. No expectations....just doing what attracts our attention. No expectations of what we SHOULD be doing..., no pressure to do what others might think we should be doing...just being us.

Qigong is all about going with flow...and I have had an interesting experience recently. One of the shibashi set is called 'the rotating flywheel' The arms and hands draw circles in the air in front of the body in each direction. My normal practice was to draw the circles to the right (anticlockwise to my viewpoint) first. However building on what I learned in the last training weekend I realised it felt more natural to draw the circle clockwise first....ie going to the left first. Curious I asked my teacher if there was any difference...and she said the correct way is the way I naturally flow ie to the LEFT first. (But to encourage a class to go the correct way I need to do it in reverse)

To say I was intrigued and pleased is putting it mildly. . I do not naturally 'feel' the flow of energy..but clearly I am sensing something. One thing I have learned in my journey with holistic therapies and psychic development is that I can trust it when I 'get'  something that I don't quite understand. I have learned to just go with it.

Going with the flow is also at the heart of mindfulness. Just accepting what is, not expecting any specific outcome. Just going with what comes our way. Importantly not judging any thoughts as 'good' or 'bad' ...just accepting them as thoughts that are here one minutes...then gone the next.

I have a lot to thank my husband for....and his little mantra is one of them because it has helped me in life generally, and in my qigong /mindfulness practice.

Qigong is for life not just the class!

Both qigong and mindfulness are wonderful things to do in a weekly class. But the real benefit comes from putting what you learn into practice in daily life. And that doesn't just mean setting aside some time every day to practice them. I have known and understood this for ages. But this morning I did something that really emphasised that.

I got up to a sink full of dirty crocks. I had 4 choices. Load it into the dishwasher which would make the kitchen tidier....but would use electricity. And in any case I didn't have a load big enough to put the dishwasher on . Ignore it for a bit.but that really wasn't an option. Its not in my nature to do that. Do it protestingly....focussing on I wish I didn't have to do this....or do it and find some enjoyment in it.....

You what??? Have you gone mad? No thats exactly what I did. I spent a pleasant few minutes enjoying the feel of water and bubbles on my hands. I was mindful of the variations in textures and temperatures I could feel. I felt pleasure in the cleanness of each item....and satisfying squeak of my fingers on the clean surface.. I knew that this was also gentle exercise for my wrists which are a little stiff at the moment. And as I was standing I was able to send a little time standing in god bear stance ...with pelvic tilt of course. 

I was really sorry when it was over!

Now you might read that and think...well OK theres a bit of qigong in there but thats mainly mindfulness....with a dash of NLP thrown in. And you would be right BUT Qigong is all about working with your energy and keeping it balanced and healthy. Your thoughts play a huge role in how healthy your energy is. 

Your energy and your health generally are massively affected by the things you do every day. How much you sleep, how much you exercise, what you eat and drink, and what you  think...All the good you do in one class can be wiped out by a stressful situation, a row with the boss, a bad commute to work, ....................................(fill in the blank with own ideas.)

If you choose to set some time aside each day to practice qigong and mindfulness that great. But if the attitudes that underpin them are habitual then you won't allow the boss, or the commute, or the kids, or all of the stresses modern life can throw at us, to unbalance your thoughts. 

Qigong is all about balance. Physical and energetic balance are what most people can easily understand.  But mental/spiritual balance is just as important. 

 

Teaching about energy

Yesterday my class wanted me to focus on energetic aspects of Qigong. And I realised how very hard it is to separate that aspect from the physical aspect of the mindful  aspect.After all its the physical side that helps the energy flow...and the mindful aspect that directs it. Its no wonder the yin/yang symbol is so closely associated with tai chi!. In teaching them I learn myself....and in many ways that is WHY I teach...because it gives my the discipline to make sure I keep learning. Certainly learning qigong in the first place greatly increased my understanding of energy and reiki  . It comes back to a saying of a friend of mine as she started her holistic journey. 'Its all about the energy' A saying I think I now have a deeper understanding of. Namaste